Celebrating Magnus

"Legends say that hummingbirds float free of time, carrying our hopes for love, joy, and celebration.  The hummingbird's delicate grace reminds us that life is rich, beauty is everywhere, every personal connection has meaning, and that laughter is life's sweetest creation." ~ Papyrus

 

Today marks Magnus's second birthday.  Notice I didn't write "what would be his second birthday".  That was purposeful.  People often ask if his birthday makes me sad, and the honest answer is yes, for a brief moment.  Sometimes I pause and think how strange it feels to imagine a two year old running around and arguing with his brother, but the image is fuzzy and fleeting.  It's difficult to imagine because it just never has been.  I can't picture what he would look like, the sound of his laugh, or how it would be with two boys it the house.  I replay the vivid memories of that day that will forever be engrained in me.  I revisit pictures, have a good cry, and then I shift to thinking about how far we've come since that day. 

Some might ask, why the cause for celebration?  We celebrate Magnus for what he has brought to our lives, and continues to bring to our lives.  We have met countless friends, and have worked tirelessly to make this world a better place because of him.  We've been moved by the outpouring of support and folks willing to reach out an help us along the way.  We've been able to help others through difficult moments, and impact effective change aimed at safety.  Together, we've engaged in conversations that will undoubtedly lead to better options in birth for others.  The inspiration for all of these opportunities comes from a boy we "saw" for less than two weeks. These are the footprints we count, those that move us forward in hope, love, and joy.  They are Magnus's footprints on our hearts and lives, and have forever impacted us in ways we couldn't have imagined. 

At Magnus's memorial service, we wondered how we could possibly get to "know" him, when we couldn't see or touch him.  I suppose it depends on perspective.  No, we cannot see Magnus with our eyes, but we sure can feel him in our hearts, leading us forward every single day.  There have been so many goose-bumpy moments in the past two years when things have come together, we stumble across his name, or someone does something remarkable because of his story.  You see, he is here.  He's here with us, and he is here with each of you.  He makes us stronger and better for knowing him, and for that I am forever grateful.  Magnus brings so much cause for celebration to our lives.  We've learned more from someone we cannot "see" than we have from any other "earth bound" exchange. 

The irony of an April birthday is abundant.  Spring is a time of renewal, of new beginnings, and there is a great deal of evidence that those things are taking place in our lives and community.  It brings many great hallmark moments for Safer Midwifery.  In addition to Magnus's birthday, this April 2013 marks the first anniversary of our blog and advocacy group.  The group has grown tremendously in that year of existence, and I couldn't me more proud of the people standing up to make a difference.  Their conversations, goals, and tireless effort to impact positive changes for others is truly inspiring.  This year, April also marks the end of our campaign to fund a professional website.  We've reached that goal, and funds will be officially disbursed on...April 8th...the exact day of Magnus's birth.  What an awesome way to turn a day that was once so horrifying, into something better.  The timing wasn't planned, it couldn't have been.  It just worked out that way...another one of those goose-bumpy moments.  

And so today we celebrate.  We celebrate Magnus, we celebrate all of you, and we celebrate all that is yet to come.  Thank you for the tremendous support over the past two years.  Thank you for remembering Magnus in your hearts, and letting him inspire you to make a difference in the lives of others. 

Happy Birthday Magnus.  Here's to many more years of inspiration, love, joy, and reasons to celebrate your role in all of our lives.   I love you.